It was close on 30 years ago now that everything began to go wrong. I was working 16 hours a day running a small business. Two small businesses, in fact. I had a small typesetting business serving advertising agencies and the print trade and I had also created the first totally organic professional hair product range approved by all the major players such as PETA, the RSPCA, Vegan Society and The Vegetarian Society. The trouble was, the ethical message was too far ahead of its time and hairdressers preferred to stick with the major cosmetic companies rather than take a risk on something new. Yes, they all told me that this was what the industry needed, but right now they were happy to stay where they were.
One day I said to myself, “it is impossible to work this hard and actually be going backwards. There must be an answer to this situation.”
Things got worse and worse. I began to have strange experiences, like out of body experiences and I swore that I could see lightening coming out of my finger tips. I thought that there was something quite serious going on and indeed there was. Someone upstairs was taking my whole life away, or what I thought was my whole life.
Eventually, the businesses went, the house went and the family went and I ended up one night sleeping in a rental van on the motorway services. That was about the time I hit the bottom. I didn’t stay there long though as it was freezing cold in that van and around 2.00am I drove off to my brother’s house and knocked him up. After that, it was home to mother. Now that is a tough one when you’ve left home at 15 and kind of made your own way in the world, but it was that or nowhere. Thank you mother.
Of course, nothing was going wrong with my life at all. Everything was actually going right, but not to any plan that I had in mind. The energy flowing through me became ever more intense and the Universe sent someone one day that told me that I was having a Healing Awakening. As far as I was concerned I was having a breakdown. LOL
Nothing could have been further from my reality than to become a healer, but my reality was rapidly being taken away from me and a new reality inserted into my consciousness. In fact, my consciousness was being interferred with in a rather alarming way.
It took about three years to go through the process of breakdown, a year along the bottom of the pit of despair and a year climbing out of it in a rebirth. I had no choice. I had been removed from the driving seat of my life and someone else had taken over. By the time this three year period was complete, I was working as a full time healer, travelling like a door to door sales person with my couch, attending to folks who had been sent to me buy who knows?
People just came. Frequently they had no idea how they found my phone number. There was no doubt that they were sent. They continued to be sent for around ten years, none stop. They were all my teachers. It was through looking into their consciousness in order to help them that I was shown all I needed to see in order to open people’s hearts to what had been poured into me. LIGHT!
Certainly the light does turn you around and it isn’t always a pleasant experience, but when you enter the darkness, it is always a journey that you come out of better than when you entered. It is the process of Becoming.
Someone upstairs figured that I had something to offer to humanity and so I was stripped back to nothing, everythig taken away and I was taught to trust the Universal Consciousness that in some way it would provide in exchange for my service to those who truly desire to taste the light of inner transformation.
So, that’s what I do. I offer the Light in many different ways, all of which have been taught to me. But it is not me that delivers it. I am just the vehicle for the light to work in this world. The one who didn’t have a choice but to be opened up. But in that process I have seen much of another side of life, a life filled with light and there is no comparison to slaving away for sixteen hours a day going nowhere. Until recently, I was still burning the midnight oil, but not in desparation to keep afloat, but in the joy of being in service to the human heart and serving its desire to open up to the light of all that is.
When everything seems to be going wrong in your life, just take a step back and say to yourself, “there must be a message in all this for me.” Then try and figure out what that message is. There is always a reason for difficulty and it is always the Light of the World that is trying to guide you to the answer.
With My Deepest Love and Blessings for a wonderful Darshan this Sunday.